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FOMO irritation

At some point in the transition between Arizona and Texas, I had to spend a lot of time thinking about how to cope with missing all of the wonderful and fun adventures that were continuing to happen in Arizona without me. This reached the level where I would get angry when checking Facebook because it would be full of photos of the things I couldn't do. Instead, I decided I needed to focus on what was present in front of me, and create my own opportunities and adventures. By the time I moved away, I was happy with the adventures and friendships developed in Texas, and there are things I now miss about all of that.

But then, on the other hand, Lincoln was awesome in its own right. Somehow, it seemed pretty easy to just go and do things. I didn't make any close friends other than my brevet buddies, but I still keep up with a number of bike people on Facebook. Open Harvest and Meadowlark were an easy bike ride away, the bike paths were wonderful, and various interesting events occurred throughout the year. I missed rowing, though.

I also worked pretty hard while I was there, and spent many evenings just sitting in my blue IKEA chair, doing very little with my cat on my lap. The main luxury of being an academic is getting to do meaningful work.

Out here, there are too many things going on, and they are often confounded by a problem of transportation logistics. Also, I *really* don't want to approach the situation from a Fear of Missing Out perspective. I would much rather approach things from the standpoint of, "Who am I? How do I want to live my life?" I'm really okay with a fairly simple and quiet agenda, to the degree possible. There's a garden, there's rowing, there are books to read.

It's hard, though, because there are multiple people here with multiple interests that need to be balanced, too. It would be (and has been) harmful to be headstrong and charge ahead just making decisions for myself.

Also maybe I'm just grumpy today because I didn't sleep especially well last night. The smart-o-phone alarm clock went off half an hour early (5:30) because I accidentally used the usual Friday alarm clock as the "sleep-in-but-still-get-up-early" alarm clock for going to the boathouse on Monday morning. The Tuesday/Thursday 5am alarm clock is too early for S. Now there are 6 different alarm clocks: Monday 5:30, Tuesday/Thursday 5, Wednesday 6:30, Friday 6, floating 4 am in case I have to get up and go to the lab (currently not set for any day), and Sundays at 8:45 to remind me about playing Scrabble with my friend S. I hate smartphones.

I really could see myself being pretty happy living in a moderately sized Midwestern city.


( 4 remarks — Remark )
Jun. 11th, 2016 02:21 am (UTC)
I feel like one of the most difficult and negative things about social networking is precisely making people feel more lonely by seeing all the things their friends are doing without them, while making them also feel more lonely when they're not using said social network.
Jun. 11th, 2016 04:04 am (UTC)
It is hard to find a place! And recently you have been catapulted from a lonely/useful place to a crammed/happy place--how is your brain supposed to adjust?
Jun. 13th, 2016 08:09 pm (UTC)
True. And on some level, I'm also aware that it can take a couple of years to truly feel settled in a new place with new routines.

The thing that has been the most challenging to handle here is the "multiple people with multiple agendas" piece. I'm not so concerned about feeling like I'm missing out on cultural things here. I'd prefer to go at it from the standpoint of, what will best nourish my soul in the long run? And I don't always know how to communicate that standpoint to others.
Jun. 13th, 2016 10:53 pm (UTC)
Imma post pics of myself looking pissed off on FB, allowing only you to see them, because I care, dammit.
( 4 remarks — Remark )

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