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Dreams

Last night, I dreamed I was traveling home from work, and got partway before realizing I'd left my laptop at work. This occurred in a dream landscape I keep experiencing that I will call the "traveling landscape." It's strongly Seattle-influenced and has featured a mashup of the Pike Place Market and Capitol Hill, but with a complex BART-like train system intermeshed. As such, my travels in the present dream most strongly corresponded to riding down 24th Ave towards home in Montlake.

Anyway, I left my bike about halfway down the hill for some reason, and then walked back up to retrieve my laptop. When I returned to where I'd left the Jolly Roger, it was gone. I was filled with an immense sense of sadness and loss, as well as anger with myself for being so irresponsible as to leave the Jolly Roger in a vulnerable place.

The specifics keep changing, but vivid dreams that include elements of sadness and loss keep happening. I had one dream, about a week and a half ago, where my brain decided to calculate, in my sleep, how old a child would be relative to [personal profile] annikusrex's son if I were to get pregnant immediately.

Thanks, brain.

I do think a major part of these dreams is my mind trying to grapple with my father's health as he goes through more chemotherapy. Another part seems to be a new manifestation of the longstanding Existential Crisis, which isn't exactly something that can ever be resolved. And obviously there are elements of the good ol' biological clock-ticking, which I resent but I can't deny, plus the emotional cost of uncertainty about future work.

This entry was originally posted at http://rebeccmeister.dreamwidth.org/1151721.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

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