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Ride those waves

Anxiety waves still.

Questions like: What's the point of teaching students about Mendelian Genetics? I get it that the problems are fun tests of problem-solving skills, but nowadays we tend to sequence everything and think we know what's going on instead of doing a million crosses. They do still need to understand about diploidy and haploidy.

The view out of my office window is of the tops of a stand of trees in a small wetlands area along one edge of campus. Yesterday a hawk flew over and perched in the branches. It was too far away for me to tell what kind of hawk. I saw it perched somewhere else later on, while riding my bike home from work.

Apparently our landlord stopped by yesterday early in the evening to see what's going on with our electricity. The situation stumped him, too, so the handyman is supposed to be over there right now. It's not that I really mind the dim lighting at the dining room table, but sometimes it's nice to be able to see what you're cooking and eating.

I had a potential lead on a replacement bike that would have been awesome except it's too big. Drat.

We have a pair of regattas this weekend. The Saturday race is in Connecticut, the Sunday race is close to home. We practiced in our race lineup this morning. We have a boat full of lots of power. I hope I can row to my utmost potential so as to not disappoint my teammates.

My instinct, when I feel these kinds of anxiety waves, is to think, what are these feelings trying to tell me? Sometimes I think maybe the lesson is one of compassion towards others; compassion towards students who are struggling with demons whose nature I may never know. At other times: is this a time to stop and think about which struggles and experiences are most important in life? Is this that repeated refrain of "What am I DOING with my life?!" Is it a manifestation of dread and grief over knowing that all of our time on this planet is too precious and short?

Hard to know.

I should probably be working on a manuscript.

This entry was originally posted at https://rebeccmeister.dreamwidth.org/1254504.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

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